Writer’s Slug

Pretty much this text was rejected from the Elite Daily the unheard of times of twice. Once in June. (26th)

Once in July. (26) Rejected also from Elite Men’s Mag so hard that it caused an editor

to lay her job on the line just to insult it. That. O. Don Mattingly day of Greek timing to

the Peninsular Republic of Troy, let the record show that Turmeric eater Alex Rodriguez

hit the green calling out the pitcher to register his 6th Happy Birthday homerun. The 18th

of August – Yogi Bill Dickey day – baseball Gods knocked out a Yankee pitcher. This is all for that.


”Writers Slug”

Happy Birthday, Don Mattingly. Surely this July 26th there was a Presidential Order by a Black Swan of Basketball to make sure that enough writers live through the Federalist deflation of Bill Gates, George Lucus and the rest. #1

What’s a Black Swan? A President of Defense who knows how to steal the ball by making you think you want to shoot. Barack Obama for example. At least according to this reporter and his watching of television in Poland before FIFA’s European Cup in 2012. (They have long necks) Are a month early. Come in black on white. You know. #2

July 26th. You got in. (Cooperstown) After 15 years of writers waiting to write about what is amphetamines. What is uppity? Baseball? Writers didn’t bar you, because of fuzzy, pitcher-dominated math and the fear to, ”Link,” the National League to the truth: a designated hitter. The truth is. Batters. Sluggers. They got more than a chance. Even if home runs accelerated by around 200 home runs a year in the mid 1980s to arrive in a late 1990s surge of some 500 up from the end of the mid-80s, they got more than a chance, like you, who wasn’t just part of trend, but it’s leader. #3

Snap out of it! The Hall of Fame of Vineland the Iceland of Manchurian Ponies reminds people that people played the game of catch with someone inferior in Egypt! (The old one) At least according to this reporter who’s owned Alex- Chadwick’s-page-9-induced heavy evidence of this fact in ”Illustrated History of BASEBALL.” [Sic.]

Page 9, Alex Chadwick's Illustrated History of BASEBALL

Page 9, Alex Chadwick’s Illustrated History of BASEBALL

You hit a double your last at bat, you know? Mostly for the new hot prospect Derek Jeter who would go on to be the first New York Yankee to ever record 3,000 hits; a Captain, like you, he hit the ball the opposite field… Anyway! The ball landed sorta to Mantle’s Left. (Field which is a hell of an Eskimo thing to do) And happened in the post-season after Ruben Sierra knocked one out. And the next day? You two went back to back. You knocked it out of the deep, ”Power-alley,” you monster. #4

Ball game won with the back to back with Sierra game 2, Captain. I was there game one. You’re like Babe Ruth, man. Hall of Fame. (Which means you’re mortal) #5

Look, Mattingly! Institutions of Higher Learning like Brown University are known for having a controversial department that isn’t the Greek language. (Coptic) It’s called the Egyptology Department, and I know you man!

Whatever! Baseball’s a boring game of momentum. Anyway. They called him Donnie Baseball.

The Hitman.

His birthday is Adolf Hilter’s!

He’s a gas. A Stan the Man Cardinal of a batsman who slides headfirst, knowing that great pitching beats great hitting, because he might run out of the power to do this 3 consecutive MVP top 3 vote getters with a win and a loss to an American League pitcher who will be winning the Silver Slugger Award like you – you Captain! #6

I know, you haven’t heard of it; the Beanie Ball metric of baseball? (Moneyball)

Arguably the greatest team to ever win at Baseball was in shambles. Beane focused on Slugging to rise them from the ashes by discounting Average and focusing on Walks and Extra Base hits, etc.

Mattingly. You were the mid-80s most feared hitter.

You’re a lifetime 300 hitter with 222 homeruns, called the 9th best fielder at First Base in the history of Baseball. #7

Anyway. Billy Beane’s practically cornered the market of most games won consecutively. Ironically Don Mattingly holds the record for the most grandslams in a season and most in a row! (Televised sport) {To say nothing of most consecutive games with a home-run.} [And most grand-slams in a season.] [Sic.] [1987.] Just #8, #9, #10, and #11

But more importantly he, Mattingly, took down 9 Golden Gloves. (He, Mattingly, came from Right Field – switched to 3rd and took over at Lou Gerhig’s team) {The Pride of the Yankees.}

Cooperstown rates him as the 37th best player at First Base. Practically all are H.O.F. (Hall of Fame) {Before you? Mattingly, you soft speaker who carries a big stick? Forget it about it!} [#12]

July 26th. You got in. (Cooperstown) The Hall of Fame of Vineland the Iceland of Manchurian Ponies: that; you hit a double for me your last at bat. You know? For Jeter sorta to Mantle in Right. (In hindsight) {Making Griffey’s Murderer’s Row work for it for the first Wild Card Post Season.}

You’re approachable too at around 6’0″, 175, hitting 40 etc. homeruns a couple of years in a row before the trip to happy land.

So, why isn’t Donniebaseball, the Hitman, in the Hall of Fame?

The National League. (You fix it) {Buckner.} 😉

Intentional walks leader?

1985 AL 13 (3rd)
1986 AL 11 (5th)
1987 AL 13 (3rd)
1988 AL 14 (5th)
1989 AL 18 (2nd)
1990 AL 13 (4th)
1991 AL 11 (10th)
Career  136 (62nd)

You walked plenty. #13